Duo and Heero's McDonald's Journey
by omgihatelifemorethanever
Summary: DuoHeero OMG. Exactly what it sounds like, Heero and Duo get down and dirty in the McDonald's ballpit at the playground. R&R OMG OR I'LL DIE! Oh wait... I hate everybody.


"No, Heero, you don't _do_ it like that!" Duo slapped Heero's hand away from the treasured figurine. "They have to be _fed_ first._ Then_ you can take them on a walk."

"I don't get it." Heero frowned. "I thought I could do whatever I wanted."

"You thought _wrong,_ Heero!" Duo screeched. "Wrong!"

Heero silently put down the little puppy figurine he had been so eager to pick up.

"When we play Littlest Petshop, we play by _my_ rules, you damn cocksucker!" Duo glared at him.

A tear of sadness rolled down Heero's cheek.

They were at McDonalds, their favorite place to slowly die. They were sitting at a table attempting but failing to play with Duo's Littlest Petshop set he brought from home. They are both full grown men so don't even think they're supposed to be children.

"Heeeeero. I don't think I want to play with you like this anymore unless you can get your act together and feed the damn animals when I tell you to!" He shook with rage and betrayal.

"But they're just plastic," murmured Heero. "Plastic…" he added in a sad whisper.

"What was that?" Duo's eyes narrowed.

"I said…fantastic."

"What?"

"Your…" Heero stalled. "Eyes."

Duo blushed an angry blush. "What are you saying, Heero?"

"I don't know." He confessed a confession. He rose slowly, not sure what to do in this sort of situation. "Let's go to the playpen."

"The what?" gasped Duo, scandalized.

"You heard what I said…" Heero threw him a dangerous look, smirking.

Duo quickly packed up the remaining puppies and ponies and various accessories that were all in lovely shades of pastel and put them in the small container he carried around in his man-purse just in case of emergency, not unlike today. He rose from the table as well, following Heero out the door into the playpen where the screams of bratty kids echoed through the plastic tubes. They put their shoes and the man-purse into the little cubbies for footwear taking-off and proceeded to approach the curious structure.

"H-heero?" whimpered Duo, unsure, not at all like his former confident self whilst playing with his Littlest Petshop.

"There." Heero nodded, pointing through the netting to where the ballpit was. Ah, the ballpit. Such a pit of lovely colored plastic balls where anything could happen. Anything. "C'mon." He took Duo forcefully by the hand and pulled him into an entrance tube.

"Heero, what are we doing?" Duo shivered, his skin catching on the plastic in the tube. He cried out in pain, which made Heero pull on him harder. "Heero, stop!"

But Heero wouldn't listen. He never listened. No he didn't.

The tube opened up into the ballpit, which Heero fell into face first dragging Duo with him. With a large splash of balls, they were now sitting uncomfortably in the chaotic environment which is known as the ballpit.

"Welcome," said Heero, his crooked smile scaring Duo.

"Heero…we're in public…"

Heero playfully threw a pink ball at him, which hit him reprimandingly on the forehead. That said it all.

"It's my…my first time…"

"What the hell, Duo. We did it like seven times last night and that's not including the several months we've been fucking around as well."

"No, no…" Duo breathed softly, a little anxious. "I mean…in a ballpit…"

Heero crooked smile returned, this time a little wider and more unsettling. "Then let me show you how it's done." He ignored the small child sitting near him and pushed awkwardly through the balls over to Duo.

Duo gulped, shuddering a little like the nervous little bunny rabbit that was he, Duo Maxwell. His heart fluttered in his chest and he knew his time had come. "Children!" he screeched. "Get out of here immediately!" And they left because I say so.

Once alone with Duo, Heero decided to make his move. He put a hand down next to Duo, and unfortunately it was a sorry mistake, for he sunk down into the balls and only his head stuck out. He looked up at Duo with a rather embarrassed face, trying to play it off.

"What are you doing down there?" asked Duo.

"I'm …." He stalled again. "going to give you the best damn blowjob of your life." And with that, he sunk down into the balls. BALLS.

Duo waited for what was coming. Then…erm…he waited some more. And just a little bit more. But nothing happened.

Heero rose up again after minute or so. "Okay I can't breathe down there and I can't really find your crotch either."

Duo blushed. "Heero…that's the…that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

"I know." Heero knew.

"Touch me." Duo breathed, thoroughly seduced.

Heero drew forward, a little nervous that Duo might find out that he too had never experienced such a monumental thing as SEXUAL INTERCOURSE in a ballpit.

Duo lifted his chin ever so slightly and Heero caught his lips, softly nibbling. Duo giggled, hugging onto him and accidentally pulling him down on top of him and they sunk far down into the balls AND NO I DON"T MEAN THE KIND THAT COME IN A SCROTUM. I mean the plastic ones at McDonalds. They tried to kiss some more but they couldn't really breath and the balls were pinching their skin kind of and Duo suddenly came up screaming because he was claustrophobic which is a rare disease where you can't stand plastic balls of any kind even if they are meant for some sort of sexual pleasure.

Heero was sure disappointed that Christmas. Instead of coal he was given presents which was always disappointing because he still believed in Santa Claus. No matter how bad he was all year he still got good gifts and that really doesn't work out the way they say it does. Little did he know that the little presents were from Duo. Poor Duo. He always worked so hard. He took on two part-time jobs to pay the bills and for Heero's pills. From 9-11 he was an open heart surgeon and from 3-5 he was a gynecologist at a local circus. He would rather have been a mattress tester. That's a sweet job. He still dressed up as Santa Claus on Christmas to please Heero though, because he didn't want Heero's hopes to be _completely_ crushed.


End file.
